I Wanted to Go on Again and Again

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"If only I could go to sleep forever."

"I desire to die."

"I wish I'd never been born."

Do you ever have thoughts like these, and you do not want to impale yourself? Many people practice. They desire their life to cease, but they don't desire to stop their life.

If you lot're one of those people, you probably don't think of yourself equally suicidal. It might surprise you to know that, in clinical parlance, such thoughts are considered to be "passive" suicidal ideation.

What is Suicidality?

The word Suicide in the dictionary is highlighted in pink with the highlighter pen right beside it

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Technically speaking, the term "passive suicidal thoughts" is an oxymoron. The very meaning of suicide is the intentional act of killing oneself. How tin can someone be suicidal if they don't desire to dice by suicide?

That's where "passive" comes in. People with passive suicidal thoughts don't want to do anything to make themselves die. They wish it would just happen.

Suicidality – that is, suicidal thoughts or behavior – exists on a spectrum. At i end are people who wish they weren't alive anymore simply also don't think of suicide. At the other stop of the spectrum are people with extremely high intent to end their life at present, or maybe they've fifty-fifty just made a suicide endeavour.

At points in between are different gradations of suicidality. Some people retrieve of killing themselves only chop-chop decline the idea. Some want to die by suicide and brand a programme but don't intend to carry it out. Some want, plan, and intend to die by suicide but not whatsoever time shortly. Those are simply a few possibilities.

The Dangers of Passive Suicidal Thoughts

Text in big letters: IF YOU THINK OF SUICIDE NATIONAL LIFELINE 800-273-8255 CRISIS TEXT LINE TEXT "START" TO 741741 SPEAKINGOFSUICIDE.COMResearch indicates that people with passive vs. active suicidal thoughts are at equal take a chance for attempting suicide. We don't know why, but information technology's reasonable to hypothesize that passive suicidal thoughts can swiftly modify from "I want to exist expressionless" to "I want to kill myself."

It's also possible (though this hasn't been researched specifically) that take chances factors for passive suicidal thoughts are like to risk factors for suicide itself. These take chances factors might include mental or concrete pain, hopelessness, illness, stress, loss, trauma, poverty, unemployment, human relationship issues, isolation, substance abuse or addiction, sleep disturbance, and more.

In short, people who wish they were dead share something important with people who desire to kill themselves: Both groups desire their pain or bug to end.

Passive suicidality tin lead people to put themselves in danger. For example, they might not wearable a seatbelt or drive carefully. They might use besides many drugs or drink as well much or pick fights with strangers. They're not trying to kill themselves (at least, not consciously), but they also don't care if they get killed.

So, if you have passive suicidal thoughts, please take proficient care of yourself. You may be at higher risk than average for death. I realize that if you want to die, you might welcome such news. But please, recognize the wish for death every bit a symptom of something in your life, or inside of you, that needs healing. Healing, not killing.

How to Get Help

An open chest with golden light emanating from it

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Please, talk with somebody about how you're feeling. Sharing your thoughts with a trusted friend, family member, teacher, dr., minister or other person (or people) serves ii purposes: One, they tin endeavor to assist y'all. 2, you lot may not feel then solitary.

The resource that I list on this website are available to all people in distress, whether or not they think explicitly of suicide: hotlines, crisis text lines, online chat, and more than.

Therapy can accost why you want to die, and how to feel meliorate. If therapy is out of attain for you financially, take a await at the post, "12 Means to Get Therapy if You lot Can't Afford It." You likewise might want to see a doctor to make sure there's no concrete condition, like depression or a thyroid problem, that'southward triggering thoughts of death.

A safety plan is helpful, likewise, in example your desire for death morphs into fantasizing about, or making plans to, kill yourself. A condom plan lays out the steps you lot can accept to cope, go help, and stay safe if suicidal thoughts put you in danger. You can discover a form for completing a safety programme hither.

People who want to be dead often feel hopeless. Consider filling upward a promise box (real or virtual) with reminders of the people, places, hopes, and possibilities that brand life worth living.

In any case, I promise you will get help. Even if you don't want to accept action to terminate your life, the of import thing is that you're pain or otherwise unhappy. There are many things you can endeavor to experience ameliorate, heal, and like beingness alive.

Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW, is the writer of "Helping the Suicidal Person: Tips and Techniques for Professionals," a psychotherapist and consultant, and an associate professor at the University of Denver Graduate School of Social Work.

Copyright 2022 by Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW. Written for SpeakingOfSuicide.com. All Rights Reserved.

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Source: https://www.speakingofsuicide.com/2020/01/10/passive-suicidal-ideation/

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